Sunday, March 8, 2009
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Missing
A lot of things have been missing lately;
me-here
my motivation
any movement in the right direction on the scale
I haven't been around much lately. Honestly I've been avoiding you all and myself. I was doing really well on my diet and nothing was happening. Well, that's not true, I was gaining. I wasn't perfect with the diet but I was doing really well. So the other day I was fed up. I had Wendy's for lunch, homemade mac and cheese, and then cookie dough when I made cookies with my son. You know what? The scale was down 2.5 pounds the next day. WHY??? I hate my metabolism. I hate that I can eat so well and gain but then a day of crap eating and I lose. It really messes with you mentally. I know that I can't continue to eat crap, it doesn't work that way. ARGH!!
On another note I went out last night with the girls. It was a lot of fun!! I ate a few potato nachos and one piece of lobster quesadilla but after that I was good. I had a salad and water and a few grown up drinks. I was proud of myself for not gorging on the appetizers and for eating my salad and not wanting dessert! yay!
So here I go again, back on track, back to heading in the right direction, I hope. The weather today is amazing but my day is crazy full. Hopefully I'll get a good walk in at some point.
So I'm back, for better or for worse. Time to get this show on the road. This morning I was 284 so I am still +2 from my low but +2 is better than it was a few days ago. I'll take it. I also remind myself that I am +2 from my low but still down 22 overall. That's something to be proud of.
me-here
my motivation
any movement in the right direction on the scale
I haven't been around much lately. Honestly I've been avoiding you all and myself. I was doing really well on my diet and nothing was happening. Well, that's not true, I was gaining. I wasn't perfect with the diet but I was doing really well. So the other day I was fed up. I had Wendy's for lunch, homemade mac and cheese, and then cookie dough when I made cookies with my son. You know what? The scale was down 2.5 pounds the next day. WHY??? I hate my metabolism. I hate that I can eat so well and gain but then a day of crap eating and I lose. It really messes with you mentally. I know that I can't continue to eat crap, it doesn't work that way. ARGH!!
On another note I went out last night with the girls. It was a lot of fun!! I ate a few potato nachos and one piece of lobster quesadilla but after that I was good. I had a salad and water and a few grown up drinks. I was proud of myself for not gorging on the appetizers and for eating my salad and not wanting dessert! yay!
So here I go again, back on track, back to heading in the right direction, I hope. The weather today is amazing but my day is crazy full. Hopefully I'll get a good walk in at some point.
So I'm back, for better or for worse. Time to get this show on the road. This morning I was 284 so I am still +2 from my low but +2 is better than it was a few days ago. I'll take it. I also remind myself that I am +2 from my low but still down 22 overall. That's something to be proud of.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
FOOD
A friend of mine recently started Weight Watchers and was asking for food suggestions on her blog http://pancakesandfrenchfries.com/2009/02/low-point-foods-that-helped-breakfast-lunch-dinner-dessert/
I gave her a pretty big list and it got me thinking; maybe there are others of you out there wondering what the heck I am eating. So whether you wanted to know or not here goes.
Crystal Light-I am not a big water fan so adding flavor without calories is perfect! There are generics out there and I am find them to be just as good.
Slim Fast High Protein Shake Mix-it's breakfast for me just about everyday. It's not grainy or chalky and tastes good.
tea-green tea will help speed up the metabolism and i need all the help I can get.
Weight Watcher frozen dessert/ice cream-currently eating their fudgsicles at only 60 calories a piece. Delicious.
Sugar free/fat free pudding mix or jello mix. I prefer to make my own, I think the texture is better than the prepackaged/refrigerated kind.
Fat free Cool Whip-A great ice cream substitute, delicious when defrosted and mixed with aforementioned jello and pudding.
Multigrain pasta-Not as grainy as wheat in my opinion. Generic is just as good for us.
Pepperidge Farm Bread-Light style 7 grain. It's small, thin and tasty.
Tuna Fish-one can is nearly 30g of protein, half of what I aim for each day. YUM!
Lettuce-Use it in salads or use large pieces (butter and bibb work best) to make wraps. I use lettuce wraps for tacos, fajitas, sandwiches....anything!
Almonds-packed with protein they fill you up and let you crunch.
Craisins-Yummy, chewy, fruit!
Wasabi peas-Find them in the Asian food section. They are crunchy and SPICY and oh so yummy. They have nearly as much protein as a serving of almonds with a lot less fat.
Morningstar Farms-Their hickory BBQ riblets and Ginger Teriyaki veggie cakes are surprisingly tasty to this skeptic. Thank you Susan for opening my eyes!
Reduced fat cheese sticks-cheese.....low fat....need I say more??
Laughing Cow Cheese wedges-My favorite flavor is French Onion....spread it on a cracker and YUMMO.
Newmans Own Dressing-Light Sundried Tomato and Light Balsamic Vinaigrette are quite good.
Campbells Select Harvest Light Soups-haven't found any I don't like yet.
Rice cakes-flavored ones are great substitutes for chips.
Fiber One Frosted Shredded Wheat Cereal-new and delicious.
Fiber One granola bars-a great substitute for a candy bar.
Hmm.....I know there are more great products out there but that's all that's popped into my head for now. Any other ideas people??
I gave her a pretty big list and it got me thinking; maybe there are others of you out there wondering what the heck I am eating. So whether you wanted to know or not here goes.
Crystal Light-I am not a big water fan so adding flavor without calories is perfect! There are generics out there and I am find them to be just as good.
Slim Fast High Protein Shake Mix-it's breakfast for me just about everyday. It's not grainy or chalky and tastes good.
tea-green tea will help speed up the metabolism and i need all the help I can get.
Weight Watcher frozen dessert/ice cream-currently eating their fudgsicles at only 60 calories a piece. Delicious.
Sugar free/fat free pudding mix or jello mix. I prefer to make my own, I think the texture is better than the prepackaged/refrigerated kind.
Fat free Cool Whip-A great ice cream substitute, delicious when defrosted and mixed with aforementioned jello and pudding.
Multigrain pasta-Not as grainy as wheat in my opinion. Generic is just as good for us.
Pepperidge Farm Bread-Light style 7 grain. It's small, thin and tasty.
Tuna Fish-one can is nearly 30g of protein, half of what I aim for each day. YUM!
Lettuce-Use it in salads or use large pieces (butter and bibb work best) to make wraps. I use lettuce wraps for tacos, fajitas, sandwiches....anything!
Almonds-packed with protein they fill you up and let you crunch.
Craisins-Yummy, chewy, fruit!
Wasabi peas-Find them in the Asian food section. They are crunchy and SPICY and oh so yummy. They have nearly as much protein as a serving of almonds with a lot less fat.
Morningstar Farms-Their hickory BBQ riblets and Ginger Teriyaki veggie cakes are surprisingly tasty to this skeptic. Thank you Susan for opening my eyes!
Reduced fat cheese sticks-cheese.....low fat....need I say more??
Laughing Cow Cheese wedges-My favorite flavor is French Onion....spread it on a cracker and YUMMO.
Newmans Own Dressing-Light Sundried Tomato and Light Balsamic Vinaigrette are quite good.
Campbells Select Harvest Light Soups-haven't found any I don't like yet.
Rice cakes-flavored ones are great substitutes for chips.
Fiber One Frosted Shredded Wheat Cereal-new and delicious.
Fiber One granola bars-a great substitute for a candy bar.
Hmm.....I know there are more great products out there but that's all that's popped into my head for now. Any other ideas people??
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
I Fell Off the Wagon
Where to begin.....
Last weeks news of the surgeons appointment being delayed sent me into a downward spiral. I was angry and disappointed and, unfortunately, I turned to food. I snapped out of it quickly and by Saturday I was back down to my low of 282. Phew. Then I landed face first, mouth open, into my son's second birthday party. The party was supposed to be at 2 but because of bad weather approaching a lot of guests decided to come earlier in the day. I ended up with people in and out from 9-3:45. It was a great time and we had a lot of fun. I also ate, a LOT. People in and out all day through off my schedule and I grazed all day long. I ate things I should not have and I ate too much. It wasn't pretty. I went to bed that night vowing that the next day I would get back on track. I did not. If I told you everything that I ate yesterday you would be disgusted. I have no idea what came over me. I am paying for it now though, the scale is not happy. I can not believe how much weight I put on in a few short days, seriously, it's bad. I know it will come off again but wow, it's an eye opener!
Now, on to the positives.
1) I realize I fell off the wagon and am owning up to it.
2) I have already started working on climbing back onto the wagon.
This morning my lovely little two year old got me up at 5:50 AM. I decided that if I was already up I might as well go for a walk so I did! It was about a 25 minute walk and it felt good! I hope that it sets the tone for the rest of the day. So far so good but it's only 8AM.
I have made a huge decision regarding surgery. When I was complaining about having to wait so long to see the surgeon a lot of people kept telling me that everything happens for a reason. I know that but at the time it was not what I wanted to hear. I thought about it a lot over the past few days and have decided that if I can lose another 20-25 pounds on my own before my appointment I will not get the lap band. Sounds crazy doesn't it? I mean, I reserve the right to change my mind but for now that's the plan. The way I look at it is this. I have never been able to lose that much on my own or stay dedicated to a program for that long. If I can do it then I will know/hope I can do more. The band is only going to get me down to around 200 pounds, ideally. If I can lose another 20-25 on my own I'll be half way to that goal without being cut open. I know that I have dieted before and I know that I have lost weight before and not been successful long term but this time really feels different. It's hard to explain but it's just does. One of the big differences this time is that I have made this so public. Support has been a key part of my success to this point and I know it will be as I continue. Maybe that's all I needed all along, support. I don't know but I do want to try.
Last weeks news of the surgeons appointment being delayed sent me into a downward spiral. I was angry and disappointed and, unfortunately, I turned to food. I snapped out of it quickly and by Saturday I was back down to my low of 282. Phew. Then I landed face first, mouth open, into my son's second birthday party. The party was supposed to be at 2 but because of bad weather approaching a lot of guests decided to come earlier in the day. I ended up with people in and out from 9-3:45. It was a great time and we had a lot of fun. I also ate, a LOT. People in and out all day through off my schedule and I grazed all day long. I ate things I should not have and I ate too much. It wasn't pretty. I went to bed that night vowing that the next day I would get back on track. I did not. If I told you everything that I ate yesterday you would be disgusted. I have no idea what came over me. I am paying for it now though, the scale is not happy. I can not believe how much weight I put on in a few short days, seriously, it's bad. I know it will come off again but wow, it's an eye opener!
Now, on to the positives.
1) I realize I fell off the wagon and am owning up to it.
2) I have already started working on climbing back onto the wagon.
This morning my lovely little two year old got me up at 5:50 AM. I decided that if I was already up I might as well go for a walk so I did! It was about a 25 minute walk and it felt good! I hope that it sets the tone for the rest of the day. So far so good but it's only 8AM.
I have made a huge decision regarding surgery. When I was complaining about having to wait so long to see the surgeon a lot of people kept telling me that everything happens for a reason. I know that but at the time it was not what I wanted to hear. I thought about it a lot over the past few days and have decided that if I can lose another 20-25 pounds on my own before my appointment I will not get the lap band. Sounds crazy doesn't it? I mean, I reserve the right to change my mind but for now that's the plan. The way I look at it is this. I have never been able to lose that much on my own or stay dedicated to a program for that long. If I can do it then I will know/hope I can do more. The band is only going to get me down to around 200 pounds, ideally. If I can lose another 20-25 on my own I'll be half way to that goal without being cut open. I know that I have dieted before and I know that I have lost weight before and not been successful long term but this time really feels different. It's hard to explain but it's just does. One of the big differences this time is that I have made this so public. Support has been a key part of my success to this point and I know it will be as I continue. Maybe that's all I needed all along, support. I don't know but I do want to try.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Disappointed and Discouraged
Back in January I met with the dietitian. She told me that once my file was complete it was taking 4-6 weeks to get an appt. with the surgeon and then surgery was generally scheduled 4-6 after that. It gave me hope. I have been dieting for several months. I have been successful at losing weight and that is great but it has been SO hard. I am literally hungry 24/7. I have tried to keep my brave face on and say it hasn't been that bad etc. but really? It's sucked.
Last week I completed my file for the bariatric center and have been looking forward to getting my appt. with the surgeon. I was hoping to get an appt. for the end of March. Today I got my letter in the mail, appointment date 6/1/09. Huh? 4-6 weeks has now turned into 3.5 months. I am so disappointed.
Then I started to feel discouraged. How am I going to handle another 3.5 months of this on my own? Another 3.5 months of constant hunger pains? I know I can and will but right now it just seems impossible and torturous.
Last week I completed my file for the bariatric center and have been looking forward to getting my appt. with the surgeon. I was hoping to get an appt. for the end of March. Today I got my letter in the mail, appointment date 6/1/09. Huh? 4-6 weeks has now turned into 3.5 months. I am so disappointed.
Then I started to feel discouraged. How am I going to handle another 3.5 months of this on my own? Another 3.5 months of constant hunger pains? I know I can and will but right now it just seems impossible and torturous.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
A dime
Yesterday at my support group meeting I learned an interesting lap band fact. The opening is about the size of a dime and can get as small as a pencil. That is where all your food has to pass through, hence all of the dietary restrictions. I knew the opening was small and had seen pictures but it never really hit home until those words were used; dime and pencil. Wow. I guess that's why I have to make sure to chew everything so well and why a lot of people have trouble with regurgitation (YUCK).
Yesterday's group consisted of about 20 pre-op patients and 1 post-op. The woman who was post-op is almost at her one year bandiversary. She has lost 57 pounds over the year. Is it wrong that I hope for more for myself? They say that they consider it successful when you lose 1/2 of your excess weight. It is possible to lose more than that if you are really working at it and possible to lose less if you are cheating the program. While I am very happy with the thought of losing 70+ pounds I still have a bit of a problem wrapping my brain around that being my goal. I want more than that, I think. Don't get me wrong. Right around 200 sounds amazing to me right now. I was last that weight my second year in college and it was wonderful. I was a size 14/16 and able to do a lot more than I do now. I think the hard part is changing my idea of what ideal weight is. I've always wanted to be that ideal weight that the charts think I should be. I need to come up with a new version of "ideal" weight.
Yesterday's group consisted of about 20 pre-op patients and 1 post-op. The woman who was post-op is almost at her one year bandiversary. She has lost 57 pounds over the year. Is it wrong that I hope for more for myself? They say that they consider it successful when you lose 1/2 of your excess weight. It is possible to lose more than that if you are really working at it and possible to lose less if you are cheating the program. While I am very happy with the thought of losing 70+ pounds I still have a bit of a problem wrapping my brain around that being my goal. I want more than that, I think. Don't get me wrong. Right around 200 sounds amazing to me right now. I was last that weight my second year in college and it was wonderful. I was a size 14/16 and able to do a lot more than I do now. I think the hard part is changing my idea of what ideal weight is. I've always wanted to be that ideal weight that the charts think I should be. I need to come up with a new version of "ideal" weight.
The score is -1, -1, +2
Confused?
-1 is for another pound I lost!! The scale greeted me with 282 this AM and that makes me quite happy.
-1 is for one of only two pairs of jeans I had that fit falling apart and heading to the trash can.
+2 is for the two pairs of pants I pulled out of the drawer (the these haven't fit in over a year drawer) that now fit!!!! Woohoo!!!
I think if you check the score I am winning!
-1 is for another pound I lost!! The scale greeted me with 282 this AM and that makes me quite happy.
-1 is for one of only two pairs of jeans I had that fit falling apart and heading to the trash can.
+2 is for the two pairs of pants I pulled out of the drawer (the these haven't fit in over a year drawer) that now fit!!!! Woohoo!!!
I think if you check the score I am winning!
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