Friday, September 11, 2009

Slacking All Around

I started walking again and then stopped again. Ugh. I know once I get back into a routine it will be good but I'm having a hard time. Big Guy starting Kindergarten kind of threw our routine for a loop. I think and hope we are settling into a new routine.

After the fever/yucky illness a few weeks ago I thought I was on the road to recovery with the new antibiotics and I was, from that illness. The antibiotics, however, did a number on me and I developed oral thrush. Yuck. My mouth and throat HURT. So now I am on a medication for tastes like band aids smell.....blech. The thrush led to some dietary changes......not good ones. Ice cream felt delightful in the sore mouth/throat. Ugh.

The weight....the big I hate answering. I was down to 242.8 right after the yucky bug. I think some of that was dehydration b/c I went back up. For a day or two I saw 250!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOO!!! Then it started to go back down. I am floating up, down, and all around 246 which is where I was before. It makes me sad to think that this month I lost nothing, and I had two fills. Sigh.

Speaking of fills, I am due to get one on Tuesday but am debating it. Part of me thinks I need to get back on track before I do it and part of me thinks it will help get me back on track. Then there's the part of me that doesn't want to go simply b/c I'll have to get on the scale and am terrified I will have GAINED and have to explain that. There's a lot of shame to that for me.

We are off to go camping this w/end! I am excited and apprehensive. It's been chilly here lately and I hope we are warm enough. I also worry about entertaining the kids for a few days in the great outdoors. I have my fingers crossed it will be OK. Then there's the food issue. I tend to be extra hungry and eat more when I am outside and busy. I really need to stay on track this weekend.

I guess that's all from here. Not an overly positive post but it's where I am at. This journey sure is full of ups and downs, more than I ever expected. There are sooo many aspects to losing weight and being healthy and sometimes life throws more at you than you can handle......or at least more than I can handle and things get all wacky. I'm owning it though and planning to get back on track. For me, that's all that matters.