Several months ago a message popped up in my Facebook inbox. It was from someone named Derek Torres. Derek, it turns out was friends with my ex brother in law and sister. My ex BIL, Lee, told Derek about my upcoming lapband surgery and Derek sent me a message. Derek and I quickly became friends and often exchanged messages. I soon learned that Derek, who lived in Paris, was pursuing gastric bypass surgery. He had a lot of questions about what I had gone through here in the states and was interested in comparing the process. Derek was a funny guy and his emails always made me smile. Derek was a husband and father to three young children and he wanted to be better for them. He wanted more energy, he wanted to be healthy, he wanted to live a long life and watch his children grow. We connected on that level, one of my main reasons for having surgery was my kids, they deserve to have the best mom I can be. I was mildly concerned when I saw on Facebook a few weeks ago that Derek wasn't feeling well. My own children had been sick and I didn't have much time so I never wrote to see how he was. THe posts got a little worse and the last post he left on Facebook was about having to go in to the ER and he just knew they were going to keep him. By now I knew Derek had swine flu and was really sick. Derek never got to post again. Derek Torres passed away in a Paris hospital Tuesday. I was devastated when I got the news and cried for quite some time. I still get tears writing about it. It seems so unfair to me. Derek was doing all he could to become a healthier man, he had great plans and will never get to fulfill them. I am having a really hard time with it b/c the past few months I've been slacking with the weight loss thing and it makes me feel guilty. I was given my chance and I'm not making the most of it and others, like Derek, will never get the chance. I am trying to make the most of the situation and it certainly has reminded me how lucky I am to be here, to spend every day with my family.