I'm having problems with a few friends, I guess I'm not as great a friend as I once thought and people are choosing not to spend time with me.
Today I lost my job.
I suck, I'm depressed, things aren't going well.
Oh yea, I'm back up to 286. I suck.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Plan
Some time ago I came up with a new twist on my eating plan. I had not put it into practice, until today.
I can have a Slim Fast shake for breakfast and I usually make it to lunch before I eat again. The problem is that once I start eating at lunch I can't stop. From 12ish-4ish I am hungry hungry hungry. By the time dinner rolls around at 5:30 I'm full or slightly hungry. Hmmm......
The new plan is to eat my largest meal at lunch time. This means making my own meal or eating a plate leftover from dinner the night before. Now I know this is kind of a no brainer. If you are hungrier at lunch eat more, less hungry at dinner eat less. It sounds simple but to actually put it into practice is difficult. I have a family, with children, and we eat family dinners at the table. I am hoping that it won't be a huge deal and they won't really notice that mommy is eating a tiny serving or perhaps a bowl of cereal instead. What really matters about family dinner time is the family part, not the food part.
I started this today. I made turkey meatballs for spaghetti and meatballs later in the week. I had 4 meatballs in a little red sauce for lunch and a plate of raw veggies. Here's hoping it's enough and that this new plan of mine will work.
I can have a Slim Fast shake for breakfast and I usually make it to lunch before I eat again. The problem is that once I start eating at lunch I can't stop. From 12ish-4ish I am hungry hungry hungry. By the time dinner rolls around at 5:30 I'm full or slightly hungry. Hmmm......
The new plan is to eat my largest meal at lunch time. This means making my own meal or eating a plate leftover from dinner the night before. Now I know this is kind of a no brainer. If you are hungrier at lunch eat more, less hungry at dinner eat less. It sounds simple but to actually put it into practice is difficult. I have a family, with children, and we eat family dinners at the table. I am hoping that it won't be a huge deal and they won't really notice that mommy is eating a tiny serving or perhaps a bowl of cereal instead. What really matters about family dinner time is the family part, not the food part.
I started this today. I made turkey meatballs for spaghetti and meatballs later in the week. I had 4 meatballs in a little red sauce for lunch and a plate of raw veggies. Here's hoping it's enough and that this new plan of mine will work.
Yo-yo
I never could master a yo-yo as a child. Things have NOT changed. I have been yo-yo-ing with 3-5 pounds and am so stuck it's sickening. I have been doing well on the diet front and still I bounce up and down on the scale. I can't get lower than 282 and it's starting to drive me CrAzY.
The weather here is finally starting to change. With the change I am hoping/planning to get out walking again. I had given up on walks for a bit b/c the sidewalks were solid ice and as fun as breaking something would be I decided to stay safe and indoors. I'll start today whether or not I get a walking buddy to go with me. I've also been outside more with the boys and I'm hoping just that slight increase in movement will help.
This week I had a decent amount of money to grocery shop with and it made a huge difference. I was able to buy healthy foods I know I will want to eat and again, have hope it will make a difference.
In other news, life is pretty good right now. My father passed away over a year ago and his probate case finally closed a week ago. It didn't make me rich by any means but things are definitely better. I was able to put a down payment on a new car and I got a new laptop. Both my old car and laptop were limping along and sometimes needed to be shocked back to life. It has been nice to have the newer things and know that I can rely on them. Things have been tight financially for some time. It's a small price to pay for being able to stay home with my boys. This gift from my dad has helped a lot and I still get teary when I think that maybe, just maybe my luck is changing and good things are really happening.
On the surgery front since I am so incredibly stuck I am guessing I will end up on the operating table sometime this summer. I'm not thrilled with the idea but I have to do what I have to do. I was supposed to attend another group meeting the other day and skipped it. I just couldn't do it that day, my heart wasn't in it. There's another one next month that I have to go to in order to keep my surgeon's appt. I will go, no excuses.
So that's all from here. What's happening in your neck of the woods?
The weather here is finally starting to change. With the change I am hoping/planning to get out walking again. I had given up on walks for a bit b/c the sidewalks were solid ice and as fun as breaking something would be I decided to stay safe and indoors. I'll start today whether or not I get a walking buddy to go with me. I've also been outside more with the boys and I'm hoping just that slight increase in movement will help.
This week I had a decent amount of money to grocery shop with and it made a huge difference. I was able to buy healthy foods I know I will want to eat and again, have hope it will make a difference.
In other news, life is pretty good right now. My father passed away over a year ago and his probate case finally closed a week ago. It didn't make me rich by any means but things are definitely better. I was able to put a down payment on a new car and I got a new laptop. Both my old car and laptop were limping along and sometimes needed to be shocked back to life. It has been nice to have the newer things and know that I can rely on them. Things have been tight financially for some time. It's a small price to pay for being able to stay home with my boys. This gift from my dad has helped a lot and I still get teary when I think that maybe, just maybe my luck is changing and good things are really happening.
On the surgery front since I am so incredibly stuck I am guessing I will end up on the operating table sometime this summer. I'm not thrilled with the idea but I have to do what I have to do. I was supposed to attend another group meeting the other day and skipped it. I just couldn't do it that day, my heart wasn't in it. There's another one next month that I have to go to in order to keep my surgeon's appt. I will go, no excuses.
So that's all from here. What's happening in your neck of the woods?
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Missing
A lot of things have been missing lately;
me-here
my motivation
any movement in the right direction on the scale
I haven't been around much lately. Honestly I've been avoiding you all and myself. I was doing really well on my diet and nothing was happening. Well, that's not true, I was gaining. I wasn't perfect with the diet but I was doing really well. So the other day I was fed up. I had Wendy's for lunch, homemade mac and cheese, and then cookie dough when I made cookies with my son. You know what? The scale was down 2.5 pounds the next day. WHY??? I hate my metabolism. I hate that I can eat so well and gain but then a day of crap eating and I lose. It really messes with you mentally. I know that I can't continue to eat crap, it doesn't work that way. ARGH!!
On another note I went out last night with the girls. It was a lot of fun!! I ate a few potato nachos and one piece of lobster quesadilla but after that I was good. I had a salad and water and a few grown up drinks. I was proud of myself for not gorging on the appetizers and for eating my salad and not wanting dessert! yay!
So here I go again, back on track, back to heading in the right direction, I hope. The weather today is amazing but my day is crazy full. Hopefully I'll get a good walk in at some point.
So I'm back, for better or for worse. Time to get this show on the road. This morning I was 284 so I am still +2 from my low but +2 is better than it was a few days ago. I'll take it. I also remind myself that I am +2 from my low but still down 22 overall. That's something to be proud of.
me-here
my motivation
any movement in the right direction on the scale
I haven't been around much lately. Honestly I've been avoiding you all and myself. I was doing really well on my diet and nothing was happening. Well, that's not true, I was gaining. I wasn't perfect with the diet but I was doing really well. So the other day I was fed up. I had Wendy's for lunch, homemade mac and cheese, and then cookie dough when I made cookies with my son. You know what? The scale was down 2.5 pounds the next day. WHY??? I hate my metabolism. I hate that I can eat so well and gain but then a day of crap eating and I lose. It really messes with you mentally. I know that I can't continue to eat crap, it doesn't work that way. ARGH!!
On another note I went out last night with the girls. It was a lot of fun!! I ate a few potato nachos and one piece of lobster quesadilla but after that I was good. I had a salad and water and a few grown up drinks. I was proud of myself for not gorging on the appetizers and for eating my salad and not wanting dessert! yay!
So here I go again, back on track, back to heading in the right direction, I hope. The weather today is amazing but my day is crazy full. Hopefully I'll get a good walk in at some point.
So I'm back, for better or for worse. Time to get this show on the road. This morning I was 284 so I am still +2 from my low but +2 is better than it was a few days ago. I'll take it. I also remind myself that I am +2 from my low but still down 22 overall. That's something to be proud of.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
FOOD
A friend of mine recently started Weight Watchers and was asking for food suggestions on her blog http://pancakesandfrenchfries.com/2009/02/low-point-foods-that-helped-breakfast-lunch-dinner-dessert/
I gave her a pretty big list and it got me thinking; maybe there are others of you out there wondering what the heck I am eating. So whether you wanted to know or not here goes.
Crystal Light-I am not a big water fan so adding flavor without calories is perfect! There are generics out there and I am find them to be just as good.
Slim Fast High Protein Shake Mix-it's breakfast for me just about everyday. It's not grainy or chalky and tastes good.
tea-green tea will help speed up the metabolism and i need all the help I can get.
Weight Watcher frozen dessert/ice cream-currently eating their fudgsicles at only 60 calories a piece. Delicious.
Sugar free/fat free pudding mix or jello mix. I prefer to make my own, I think the texture is better than the prepackaged/refrigerated kind.
Fat free Cool Whip-A great ice cream substitute, delicious when defrosted and mixed with aforementioned jello and pudding.
Multigrain pasta-Not as grainy as wheat in my opinion. Generic is just as good for us.
Pepperidge Farm Bread-Light style 7 grain. It's small, thin and tasty.
Tuna Fish-one can is nearly 30g of protein, half of what I aim for each day. YUM!
Lettuce-Use it in salads or use large pieces (butter and bibb work best) to make wraps. I use lettuce wraps for tacos, fajitas, sandwiches....anything!
Almonds-packed with protein they fill you up and let you crunch.
Craisins-Yummy, chewy, fruit!
Wasabi peas-Find them in the Asian food section. They are crunchy and SPICY and oh so yummy. They have nearly as much protein as a serving of almonds with a lot less fat.
Morningstar Farms-Their hickory BBQ riblets and Ginger Teriyaki veggie cakes are surprisingly tasty to this skeptic. Thank you Susan for opening my eyes!
Reduced fat cheese sticks-cheese.....low fat....need I say more??
Laughing Cow Cheese wedges-My favorite flavor is French Onion....spread it on a cracker and YUMMO.
Newmans Own Dressing-Light Sundried Tomato and Light Balsamic Vinaigrette are quite good.
Campbells Select Harvest Light Soups-haven't found any I don't like yet.
Rice cakes-flavored ones are great substitutes for chips.
Fiber One Frosted Shredded Wheat Cereal-new and delicious.
Fiber One granola bars-a great substitute for a candy bar.
Hmm.....I know there are more great products out there but that's all that's popped into my head for now. Any other ideas people??
I gave her a pretty big list and it got me thinking; maybe there are others of you out there wondering what the heck I am eating. So whether you wanted to know or not here goes.
Crystal Light-I am not a big water fan so adding flavor without calories is perfect! There are generics out there and I am find them to be just as good.
Slim Fast High Protein Shake Mix-it's breakfast for me just about everyday. It's not grainy or chalky and tastes good.
tea-green tea will help speed up the metabolism and i need all the help I can get.
Weight Watcher frozen dessert/ice cream-currently eating their fudgsicles at only 60 calories a piece. Delicious.
Sugar free/fat free pudding mix or jello mix. I prefer to make my own, I think the texture is better than the prepackaged/refrigerated kind.
Fat free Cool Whip-A great ice cream substitute, delicious when defrosted and mixed with aforementioned jello and pudding.
Multigrain pasta-Not as grainy as wheat in my opinion. Generic is just as good for us.
Pepperidge Farm Bread-Light style 7 grain. It's small, thin and tasty.
Tuna Fish-one can is nearly 30g of protein, half of what I aim for each day. YUM!
Lettuce-Use it in salads or use large pieces (butter and bibb work best) to make wraps. I use lettuce wraps for tacos, fajitas, sandwiches....anything!
Almonds-packed with protein they fill you up and let you crunch.
Craisins-Yummy, chewy, fruit!
Wasabi peas-Find them in the Asian food section. They are crunchy and SPICY and oh so yummy. They have nearly as much protein as a serving of almonds with a lot less fat.
Morningstar Farms-Their hickory BBQ riblets and Ginger Teriyaki veggie cakes are surprisingly tasty to this skeptic. Thank you Susan for opening my eyes!
Reduced fat cheese sticks-cheese.....low fat....need I say more??
Laughing Cow Cheese wedges-My favorite flavor is French Onion....spread it on a cracker and YUMMO.
Newmans Own Dressing-Light Sundried Tomato and Light Balsamic Vinaigrette are quite good.
Campbells Select Harvest Light Soups-haven't found any I don't like yet.
Rice cakes-flavored ones are great substitutes for chips.
Fiber One Frosted Shredded Wheat Cereal-new and delicious.
Fiber One granola bars-a great substitute for a candy bar.
Hmm.....I know there are more great products out there but that's all that's popped into my head for now. Any other ideas people??
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
I Fell Off the Wagon
Where to begin.....
Last weeks news of the surgeons appointment being delayed sent me into a downward spiral. I was angry and disappointed and, unfortunately, I turned to food. I snapped out of it quickly and by Saturday I was back down to my low of 282. Phew. Then I landed face first, mouth open, into my son's second birthday party. The party was supposed to be at 2 but because of bad weather approaching a lot of guests decided to come earlier in the day. I ended up with people in and out from 9-3:45. It was a great time and we had a lot of fun. I also ate, a LOT. People in and out all day through off my schedule and I grazed all day long. I ate things I should not have and I ate too much. It wasn't pretty. I went to bed that night vowing that the next day I would get back on track. I did not. If I told you everything that I ate yesterday you would be disgusted. I have no idea what came over me. I am paying for it now though, the scale is not happy. I can not believe how much weight I put on in a few short days, seriously, it's bad. I know it will come off again but wow, it's an eye opener!
Now, on to the positives.
1) I realize I fell off the wagon and am owning up to it.
2) I have already started working on climbing back onto the wagon.
This morning my lovely little two year old got me up at 5:50 AM. I decided that if I was already up I might as well go for a walk so I did! It was about a 25 minute walk and it felt good! I hope that it sets the tone for the rest of the day. So far so good but it's only 8AM.
I have made a huge decision regarding surgery. When I was complaining about having to wait so long to see the surgeon a lot of people kept telling me that everything happens for a reason. I know that but at the time it was not what I wanted to hear. I thought about it a lot over the past few days and have decided that if I can lose another 20-25 pounds on my own before my appointment I will not get the lap band. Sounds crazy doesn't it? I mean, I reserve the right to change my mind but for now that's the plan. The way I look at it is this. I have never been able to lose that much on my own or stay dedicated to a program for that long. If I can do it then I will know/hope I can do more. The band is only going to get me down to around 200 pounds, ideally. If I can lose another 20-25 on my own I'll be half way to that goal without being cut open. I know that I have dieted before and I know that I have lost weight before and not been successful long term but this time really feels different. It's hard to explain but it's just does. One of the big differences this time is that I have made this so public. Support has been a key part of my success to this point and I know it will be as I continue. Maybe that's all I needed all along, support. I don't know but I do want to try.
Last weeks news of the surgeons appointment being delayed sent me into a downward spiral. I was angry and disappointed and, unfortunately, I turned to food. I snapped out of it quickly and by Saturday I was back down to my low of 282. Phew. Then I landed face first, mouth open, into my son's second birthday party. The party was supposed to be at 2 but because of bad weather approaching a lot of guests decided to come earlier in the day. I ended up with people in and out from 9-3:45. It was a great time and we had a lot of fun. I also ate, a LOT. People in and out all day through off my schedule and I grazed all day long. I ate things I should not have and I ate too much. It wasn't pretty. I went to bed that night vowing that the next day I would get back on track. I did not. If I told you everything that I ate yesterday you would be disgusted. I have no idea what came over me. I am paying for it now though, the scale is not happy. I can not believe how much weight I put on in a few short days, seriously, it's bad. I know it will come off again but wow, it's an eye opener!
Now, on to the positives.
1) I realize I fell off the wagon and am owning up to it.
2) I have already started working on climbing back onto the wagon.
This morning my lovely little two year old got me up at 5:50 AM. I decided that if I was already up I might as well go for a walk so I did! It was about a 25 minute walk and it felt good! I hope that it sets the tone for the rest of the day. So far so good but it's only 8AM.
I have made a huge decision regarding surgery. When I was complaining about having to wait so long to see the surgeon a lot of people kept telling me that everything happens for a reason. I know that but at the time it was not what I wanted to hear. I thought about it a lot over the past few days and have decided that if I can lose another 20-25 pounds on my own before my appointment I will not get the lap band. Sounds crazy doesn't it? I mean, I reserve the right to change my mind but for now that's the plan. The way I look at it is this. I have never been able to lose that much on my own or stay dedicated to a program for that long. If I can do it then I will know/hope I can do more. The band is only going to get me down to around 200 pounds, ideally. If I can lose another 20-25 on my own I'll be half way to that goal without being cut open. I know that I have dieted before and I know that I have lost weight before and not been successful long term but this time really feels different. It's hard to explain but it's just does. One of the big differences this time is that I have made this so public. Support has been a key part of my success to this point and I know it will be as I continue. Maybe that's all I needed all along, support. I don't know but I do want to try.
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