The outpouring of support via comments and email has been amazing! Thank you all for being so supportive of this journey. I knew I'd have some people in my corner but I am amazed at how many. It's really touching.
A few have commented on my bravery in blogging about such a personal journey. I thought I'd write a little about that. I emailed a friend the other night and was talking about the surgery. She emailed back and asked if I was going to blog about it. My gut reaction, was heck no. I had wanted to keep this as quiet as possible and only tell a select few I was having the procedure. Then this nagging little voice in my head (no I don't really hear voices....yes I do....no I don't) said that I should definitely blog about this. So I set up the blog and then made some choices. I made it public, searchable and I emailed the link to many of my friends. As soon as I hit send on the email my stomach churned. Did I really just tell you all I weigh 306 pounds? Really? Heck my drivers license still says 230. Every time I checked my email and saw a message from someone with the subject re:blog my heart skipped a beat. What would they say? Would they be horrified? You all proved me wrong, nothing but positive messages flowed my way.
Throughout the day the guilt set in. I had sent the link to friends, not family. I was worried about sharing this with my mother and sister. My mom, well, I didn't want her to feel like it was her fault. I know mommy guilt and I didn't want that for her. Why not my sister you ask? Well she's a stick thin petite little thing who seems to never struggle with weight. I also feel like that little sister who can never do anything right when it comes to her. So last night I bit the bullet and sent them an email. I am happy to report that they are both supportive and my sister even said I was a good writer. Woohoo.
I am very happy with my choice to share this with you all. Not only because of all of the positive messages and support but because it was what I needed to do. I needed to come clean and put it out there. Now I have no where to hide and that, my friends, is a good thing. So if you see me at the local grocery store picking up a whoopie pie call me out on it. I need all the help I can get.
The Closet, 2018
8 hours ago