Wednesday, December 10, 2008

It's no one's fault

That's the truth. Certainly mistakes have been made in regards to my weight but in reality it is no one's fault.

When I went to the informational seminar about the lap band surgery one of the points they stressed repeatedly is that obesity is a disease. It's not that I eat so much more than you, or eat total and complete junk all the time, it's that my body handles food differently than yours does. My body likes to hang on to fat and my metabolism is SLOW. So as we speak my body is working against me. Isn't that just dandy?

So, the surgery will hopefully shock my body into a change and then allow me to make changes in my diet so that my body has no choice but to let go of the fat. LET IT GO! The major thing this surgery will provide for me is feeling full. Currently I only feel full if I eat a lot! So I live with hunger pains a lot and it's those hunger pains that can sabotage a diet quickly.

Now the other thing I will have to deal with are all the emotional factors associated with food. Therapy really helped me deal with some of my food issues and I find myself turning to food less when I am upset than I used to. In the past if the car broke down I'd drown my sorrows in a box of devil dogs. Now though I find myself dealing with things differently. Just the other day my car would not start, did I eat? Nope, I bundled up the kids and we walked to where we needed to go. Bye bye devil hold no power over me! It feels good to see the shift in my mind set and reminds me that I can do this. It won't be easy but I can do this.

Note to self: eat to live don't live to eat

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