Power

It's silver, digital and sits in the corner of my bathroom. It doesn't sound like much but this small object has so much power and control over me it's crazy. If you haven't guess, it's my scale. Some days I love it and some days I want to throw it out the window and watch it shatter into a bazillion pieces. Today is one of those days. This pre-op diet has been no picnic (literally). Yesterday morning though when the scale went down I felt so much better about it, it was working! I started to feel less anxious about surgery day, I have HUGE anxiety that I won't have lost enough and get cancelled. This morning I was looking forward to stepping on the scale. Yesterday I was super busy and ate very, very little plus I went for a nice walk. So I stepped on, watched the lines dance around and the results were.........I gained nearly a pound. Huh?? What? I'm sorry what did you say? It's so frustrating and disheartening. I know there are many reasons for the fluctuation and I have no doubt it will be gone in a heartbeat but....I didn't lose anything. Seriously, why am I working so hard at this for that. Sigh......here's hoping tomorrow is better, I can't handle the ups and downs of this game.