Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Train Wreck

OK, maybe that's a bit harsh. I feel more like a derailed train working towards a wreck. For some reason I have been unable to get back on track following this weekends adventures in cookie eating. I have been eating healthy meals but evil cravings keep coming out.

Yesterday I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast and made it all the way until lunch, yay! Lunch was a lean hamburger patty (no bun) and a salad. It was delicious, I felt full and then I heard something. It started out very soft "asdkfshfs". Huh? What? Then it got louder "candy". Finally it was all I could hear "CANDY!!! CANDY!!! CANDY!!!!" OK, I don't really hear voices per se but those are the thoughts that go through my head. I was warned of this by the social worker I met with. Her voices say "donut" and "diet coke". I tried and tried to find other things to do but before I knew it I was chewing away on some Laffy Taffy. UGH!!!!! The rest of the day went pretty well, I ate more than I should have but things were fairly healthy.

On top of the physical ramifications of eating cookies and candy (I am up several pounds AGAIN) their are the mental ones. I have been in a funk. I can't decide if I am in a funk because I haven't been doing well on the diet front or if I'm not doing well on the diet front because I am in a funk. Either way it needs to stop! So if anyone has some tips to pull yourself out of a funk please let me know. I tried cleaning and organizing yesterday (it appeals to my OCD side). I was very successful but felt no better. I wake up every day and declare it will be a better day, it just has to be. So today is it; today will be the better day. Today will be good. Today I will eat well. Today I will go for a walk. Today I will have patience. Today is the day.


  1. Oh Colleen...I'm sorry you are having such struggles with this whole thing. GET RID OF THE CANDY. That is the only way I can avoid it. No one has self control all of the time (as per Dr Phil anyway) so why set yourself up for failure? And think of all of the reasons why your kids don't need laffy taffy! :) I HTH...

  2. It's really a struggle when we keep sabotaging ourselves, isn't it? Best wishes to you.

  3. I agree... no candy in the house!!!! ITs like if I have potato chips here.. its over.. I will eat the whole bag.. Tonight I actually put the rest of the chips in the garbage.. Its just not ok for them to be in the house.. I cant be trusted w/ chips! The one idea I had that popped into my head about cravings..and not indulging in sweets.. tea helps me tremendously! Green tea in the afternoon after lunch(decaf or caf) whatever. I generally have the caffine to get me through the day. Tea at night for me is a must yummy herbal tea (do I make it sound amazing or what?).. it keeps me from munching.. cause my body now knows or my mind :) knows that eating is over for the day after tea time! Sounds silly, but these are the kinds of tricks we play to keep from sabotaging ourselves. Jenny