Thursday, October 22, 2009
I haven't lost any weight in 2 months or more. Sigh. I can tell you it's all my own fault. For whatever reason I just haven't been putting the energy into it. I've been eating things that aren't healthy and haven't been exercising like I should. I don't know why except that I think I just needed a break. This process has been consuming my life for almost a year now and I think I just needed to stp back and chill. I've been playing with about 5 pounds up and down but I always get back down so I consider it maintaining my lowest weight. I'm thankful for that. I keep saying I'm going to get back in it, I set new goals, I make new plans but in reality I'm tired, worn out, and just plain busy. Focusing on yourself takes a lot of time and energy and I just haven't been doing it lately. I KNOW that I WILL get back there, soon, I hope. I'm not going to beat myself up for it, that's pointless. I'm contemplating another fill but scared. I've had a hard time since my last one and am definitely a lot tighter than before. My problems are really just not chewing enough, taking bites that are too big and eating too fast. Old habits are hard to break. I know I need a fill though, because I can still eat too much at one sitting. This is all so complex sometimes it makes my head hurt. So, thanks for all the support you all have provided, I'm sorry for letting you all down the past few months. I'll get there, in my own time.