Dear 5 uninvited pounds,
You are not welcome here. I don't like you, I don't want you, you can leave now. You were not invited to come back and reside on my waist, hips and thighs. In fact, I believe I threw you a lovely going away party the last time you left. Perhaps it was too nice of a party and you came back for more, won't happen.
I am doing my best to show you I am not a hospitable hostess. All that time on the elliptical, treadmill, and chasing balls around a tennis court is not your thing! You like couch lounging, cake tasting, and general laziness. Please find someone more your speed to reside on.
I will admit that occasionally I throw you a bone and feed you some of your favorite foods but please!!! I have not eaten nearly enough junk to warrant your stay for this long. 1000-1200 calories a day plus lots of exercise does not, I repeat not, warrant a weight gain.
So, 5 pounds, I suggest you pack up quickly and leave town. Feel free to take additional pounds with you. They will not be missed!
The Closet, 2018
8 hours ago