I'm sick

I have a cold and I want to feed it!! I want all those yummy comfort foods that I always turn to and I can't have them, this sucks! On top of all of that I have reached the second half of my cycle and am retaining water like no one's business. I've put on 6 pounds in 4 days. 1-2 of those are legitimate pounds I may have gained b/c I've been a little lax on the diet front and not exercising as much since I'm stuffed up and can't breathe. The rest are all water though and I feel it. My fingers are tight and I'm all puffy. I HATE hormones. Anyone have any tricks to get rid of extra fluid? I'm drinking a ton of water and tea for the cold but it's just not flushing out. I am also looking for ideas as to what I can feed my cold. :P

Sadness

So I missed secret day yesterday and was going to combine secret/success today but it's just not important right now.

An old friend of mine tried for years and years to get pregnant and stay pregnant. I met her when we both worked at the same child care center. She is an amazing person and so strong. I lost touch with her for a while and then discovered through Facebook that she was pregnant!!!! Hooray! She gave birth to her little girl on Thursday at her home. She had always wanted a home birth. Someone posted pics. of her beautiful daughter just seconds after the birth and I was overcome with happiness for my friend. This morning on Facebook she updated her status and said that she was home, her daughter was born on Thursday and then passed away peacefully in their arms in an area hospital on Saturday. I immediately teared up and felt such dread. I am so sorry for her loss and can not imagine what she and her husband must be feeling right now.

The world gained a new angel on Saturday. Eleanor, you are much loved and will be very missed.

LOL

I am laughing out loud at the number of people who want to hear more about the cauliflower and cheese dinner. It was pretty good! I used frozen cauliflower and next time I will try fresh instead. I couldn't get the frozen soft enough to mash up a little which was my plan. The cauliflower flavor was also a little stronger than I planned for so next time I am going to spice up the cheese sauce a little more. It was edible, semi tasty and very filling. Give it a try!!

I'm Back...

It went great! I lost just shy of 8 pounds in 2 weeks 2 days so she rounded up for me :) I got an overview of the pre-op and post-op diet and nutritional info. There wasn't much I didn't already know but it was a good overview. I took the quiz before I left and feel confident that I passed. From this point I have to have some blood drawn, attend a support group which I plan to do at the end of the month and then my file moves to the surgeons office. The dietitian today was confident I'd see the surgeon by the end of February and surgery would be scheduled for 4-6 weeks after that. Woohoo!!! So it looks like April for surgery. I am so excited!

Nervous

I have my appointment with the Bariatric Centers dietitian today at 2:30. I am nervous. Mostly I am nervous about having to get weighed again. My scale says I am doing well but will theirs? It's crazy that I am stressed about that, how could their scale be that different? I guess that's the anxiety disorder in me. Oh well, I'll keep my fingers crossed.

I am not expecting to learn anything radically new at today's appt. I do have to pass a quiz about nutrition and the lap band though. I think it'll be fine, I learn quickly.

On the food front I have eliminated foods from my diet that I will not be able to eat post op. I have not been eating pasta, rice or bread products for the most part. I do eat some light multi grain bread (it's really thin) but I think that's it. I gave up the muffins, bagels, english muffins, and white bread. It hasn't been too bad so far.

Tonight I am going to try a new meal. I have been craving homemade mac and cheese for a while. When I really thought about it it's not the pasta part I crave it's the yummy sauce. I bought some cauliflower and reduced fat cheese to make the sauce with and am going to try substituting the cauliflower for the pasta. We'll see. I know a lot of people use cauliflower as a substitute for pasta and potatoes so I am hopeful it will be edible.

OK, enough talk about food it's making me hungry! I'll be back later to update on today's appt.!

Almost 2/3 of the way there....

Today I weigh 286.8! Another .8 and I'll have lost 20 pounds!! Woohoo!! I guess I no longer need to be nervous about my weigh in on Thursday at the bariatric center. For a while there I worried I would not have lost any more weight or even *gasp* have gained.

I sometimes get to thinking "hey look at you doing this all by yourself....why do you need that silly lap band anyway?" It's so hard when you are successful to remember that you've been successful before and your success was always followed by failure. I keep reminding myself that for 22 years I've had these short successful weight loss moments and they haven't gotten me anywhere but larger. I DO need the lap band, I DO want this to be forever, I WILL be successful long term.

It's My Birthday and I'll Eat If I Want To.....

As my birthday drew closer I had in my head that I wouldn't worry too much about what I ate, after all, it was my day! I did have some yummy cake on Friday that my friend got especially for me! It was good but I found myself holding back and not eating as much as I would have a few months ago. Then came today, I got on the scale this AM and was so excited that I lost 3 pounds this week!! So, then I decided that pigging out just because it was my birthday was just not a good idea. I had my normal shake for breakfast and then had lunch at the in laws. We had ribs (I had 4 small), 1 small scoop of mashed potatoes, lots of carrots and asparagus, and salad. My mother in law had made a HUGE chocolate cake for father in law (it was his bday too) and I restrained myself. I picked a little bit from little guy's plate next to me but did not have my own slice. Hooray! I am so proud of myself and excited that I think I can still safely get on the scale in the morning. Birthdays aren't about food anyway. Sure cake is a huge symbol of most birthdays but I happy that for me, this year, it's about more. It's about a new year, a healthier year, a year in which I make myself a priority.