I'm Back...

It went great! I lost just shy of 8 pounds in 2 weeks 2 days so she rounded up for me :) I got an overview of the pre-op and post-op diet and nutritional info. There wasn't much I didn't already know but it was a good overview. I took the quiz before I left and feel confident that I passed. From this point I have to have some blood drawn, attend a support group which I plan to do at the end of the month and then my file moves to the surgeons office. The dietitian today was confident I'd see the surgeon by the end of February and surgery would be scheduled for 4-6 weeks after that. Woohoo!!! So it looks like April for surgery. I am so excited!

The naked truth

Morbidly obese? When the hell did that happen?

I have been overweight my ENTIRE life. Seriously. I can remember going to the pediatrician when I was around 8 years old and listening to the doctor tell my father that I was overweight. "Control her eating" he said "help her make better choices" was his advice. Thanks a lot doc. To my dad better choices meant adding ketchup to your fried kielbasa and waiting until 9 for cookies. He was not the right person to tell this to. No one "controlled" my eating, no one helped me make better choices. I was alone. I remember being very sad about what the doctor had said. Food was my friend, how could I give that up? I didn't, and here I sit today at my heaviest weight of 306 pounds.

There have been ups and downs on the scale front. I've dieted a LOT. In fact most of my life has revolved around diets. I've exercised too, even if it's not my favorite thing. I've been successful and lost 30-40 pounds at a time! I plateau, I get discouraged, a gain a little back and before I know it I've gained it all back and then some....and then some more.

I have now come to a point in my life where I am ready. Ready to make some big decisions, ready to change, and ready to live my life. Big decision number 1: I am going to have weight loss surgery, lap band to be specific. Now I know some of you out there are against this for many reasons and believe me, I think I have heard them all. Here's the thing.....I've tried, for over 22 years, and I've failed. I need help. It is not easy for me to ask for help and so I ask; if you cannot be supportive of this decision that I have made please be gentle in the words you use. This is not a decision I made one morning after watching the numbers pop up on the scale, nor one I made in the middle of the night while eating a twinkie. This decision has taken years. Years of researching, soul searching, doctor visits, and giving it my all to do this on my own.

I am happy to say that I was accepted into a terrific bariatric surgery program! I went to an informational session, got a referral from my primary care physician and am on the road to weight loss surgery. I have read all the literature, filled out the paperwork and am preparing for my first appointment on December 30th. On that day I will meet with a social worker. This person will make sure that this is something I can handle mentally and emotionally. They will also make sure that this is a lifestyle change that I am really ready to make. The next appointment I have will be with the center's nutritionist. She will teach me all about the new diet I will have to follow post-op and ensure that I am well educated in all things food so that I can be successful. Finally I will have a consultation with the surgeon and set the date for my surgery. This whole process will take months and in the meantime I am required to lose 10% of my weight on my own to prove my dedication to the program.

So there it is, big decision #1. I've already made big decision #2, you are reading it. This is a hard thing to share with the world. Being overweight you learn to hide so coming here to share all of this is huge. Almost as huge as I am right now (OK, that's fat girl humor.....).