Food and Fun

It's been a busy few days for me! Post op Day 1 I went with Grammy and the boys to the Bounce Zone and out to lunch. I was sore and tired by the time we got home but it was fun. Post op day 2 we all went mini golfing and to lunch at a little diner. Again, sore and tired when we got home. That night I was really sore, really. Post op day 3 I took the car for an oil change and then the boys and I headed to Grammy's house for a sleepover. I got to take a nap and then we hit the beach for a walk, took the boys to the playground and then headed home for the night. Today, post op day 4, we went to an amusement park!! I lasted 3.5 hours before really feeling sore and needing to leave.

Food has been interesting. Mostly I have been focusing on getting in enough fluids. Slim Fast is still a good friend of mine since it helps with the protein. I have also been eating low fat cottage cheese, fat free refried beans, healthy request cream of chicken soup, cream of wheat, and SF pudding. I haven't had a problem with any of it. The first two weeks post op I have to stay on "liquids" but the list they gave me includes quite a few foods that I would call "mushies" (stage 2). Whatever, it works!

I feel hungry a few times a day and it hurts!! My stomach rumbles and grumbles and it causes some pain around the band area. It takes only 3-4 ounces of food to fill me up depending on the consistency. Things that are more liquidy obviously go right through the band opening and the thicker things take longer.

One of the more interesting parts in being so active post op is that food choices on the go are hard I bring my water bottle everywhere but sometimes I need to eat!! At the diner the other day I ordered a side of mashed potatoes (soooooo yummy). I ate about half before I was full. Today at the amusement park my only option was soft serve ice cream. It was really yummy but not the best pick nutritionally. Oh well, had to do what I had to do.

My incisions are healing well. All of my steri strips are off now :) The little incisions are great, some a little itchy but not horrible. They all have some bruising. The bigger incision, where the port is, hurts the most. It's quite bruised and itchy right now, yuck.

Hmmmm.....anything else you want to know??

Bucket List

There is a whole bunch of stuff I want to do as I slim down. Things I didn't do before b/c I was too fat. I thought I'd start making a list here so I don't forget.

1) Kayaking (I was always afraid I'd sink before)
2) Horseback riding (I won't need the huge draft horse anymore :)
3) Get a hammock on a stand for the back yard (I was always over the weight limit before)
4) Wear dresses! I love casual cotton dresses but looked horrible in them before.
5) Go to Disney World!!! (I'll fit on the plane and on the rides-yay!)

Done!

I am officially banded! I went in this AM, had to arrive at 9:30 for a 10:30 surgery. The surgeon was running late so I got bumped back a bit. It went pretty well. They had a hard time getting my IV in, ouch! It took three sticks but finally I was hooked up. I got a blood thinner injection in my belly (another ouch) and was good to go. I barely remember the operating room, they got me knocked out pretty quick. I woke up in recovery and was a little nauseous but it went away quickly. I went through the paces so I could go home as soon as possible. I got dressed, went to the bathroom, and drank the required 300 cc's of water. They say I got to recovery at 12:40 and I was discharged at 3 :) I have a little pain but it's not bad. A lot of the pain is from filling my abdomen with gas for the surgery. The rest is like really bad pulled muscles. I have been taking in water, had a few bites of cottage cheese and am now working on a high protein slim fast so I can make sure to get enough protein. Before surgery I took body measurements that I'll post another day. I weighed in at 261 today so I have now lost 45 pounds!!! 5 more to 50, woohoo!!!

Come On Out!

Now would be a great time for any and all lurkers to come on out and say hello!! The pre-op jitters have begun and I can use every ounce of encouragement you all can send my way. I know there are people reading this blog, that counter on the bottom keeps moving. Come out come out wherever you are!! :) To those of you who faithfully leave comments, thank you! It's nice to hear from you and your support is truly what keeps me going.

As for the pre-op jitters, yikes!! I'm back to thinking that I have already had 5 surgeries with no complications so I MUST be tempting fate by going in for another, right? UGH. It's not a horribly risky surgery but EVERY surgery has risks and I can't stop myself from thinking the worst. I'm also starting to stress about recovery. It seems most people either do really well and are up and around the next day with mild discomfort or people don't do well at all and it takes them weeks with a lot of pain. There seems to be very little middle ground. I am hoping, with all my might, that I will do well. With S being broken and on crutches I really need to be up and about as soon as I can. My mom will be coming to help as will S' mom but it's just not the same (if you know what I mean).

So come on out and leave a comment, I really need them right now :) THANKS!

Big Guy

Big Guy turns 5 in one month, where did the time go? I am very thankful for the boy that he has become. He is loving and kind, empathetic and a great friend. I truly could not ask for more. I am also lucky because Big Guy still likes to cuddle. He likes to cuddle on the couch watching cartoons, he likes to climb into my bed and cuddle and talk and he still likes to be picked up and held when he's tired or scared. The only problem is that Big Guy is getting, well, big. It's tiring to carry him around for any length of time. I do it whenever I can but wow, he's getting heavy.

Today I have officially lost the same number of pounds Big Guy weighs. I thought it was mind boggling when I lost a whole Little Guy but a Big Guy? Whoa. Had I really been carrying around an almost 5 year old? Huh? No wonder I was tired all the time, no wonder I didn't want to exercise, no wonder the stairs sent me into heavy breathing. I had been carrying around a small child 24/7.

Alas, I have lost a whole Big Guy. I'm hoping to lose at least another ;)

Pre-op Day 8 Ramblings

Every day on this pre-op diet is a challenge, some more than others. Some days I am fine and have little desire to cheat. Other days I crave food like there is no tomorrow and, sadly, I sometimes crack and eat. I haven't been horrible by any means; some extra meat, a few crackers, etc. I also never do it more than once a day. Still, it leads to a slight sense of failure and disappointment. This weight loss journey is about so much more than weight. I literally fight with myself all day long to stick to the plan and focus on the goal, it's all consuming. I have mood swings that cry out for Prozac and I feel badly for the people around me whom witness them. I am doing the best that I can and I try to remind myself of that but when you fall short of who you want to be it's hard not to beat yourself up. I am so ready for this journey, more than I ever have been in my life but I can honestly say it's nothing like what I expected.

So in the spirit of trying to stay positive and look toward the future I am going to list some of the things that have already changed for the good.

* I am wearing a size 20 in some bottoms and all of my shirts are getting to be way too big.
* People are noticing the loss now and commenting on how good I look.
* My rings are all too big.
* I had to move the seat in my car up b/c my ass is shrinking.
* I went to a baseball game and fit comfortably in the seat.
* I can bend over to tie my shoes AND breathe at the same time.
* I ran an entire lap around the high school track. I LOVE to run and am soooo happy to be able to start.
* My kids are so much more aware of healthy foods and exercise than they ever were and I see them making better choices.
* All of my walking routes need to be lengthened b/c I am finishing them a lot faster.
* I can run up the stairs of my apartment and not be out of breath (walking them used to be strenuous).
* When I am laying down I can feel my ribs and breastbone.

I am very happy about the progress that I have made and so hopeful for the changes that are yet to come.

Power

It's silver, digital and sits in the corner of my bathroom. It doesn't sound like much but this small object has so much power and control over me it's crazy. If you haven't guess, it's my scale. Some days I love it and some days I want to throw it out the window and watch it shatter into a bazillion pieces. Today is one of those days. This pre-op diet has been no picnic (literally). Yesterday morning though when the scale went down I felt so much better about it, it was working! I started to feel less anxious about surgery day, I have HUGE anxiety that I won't have lost enough and get cancelled. This morning I was looking forward to stepping on the scale. Yesterday I was super busy and ate very, very little plus I went for a nice walk. So I stepped on, watched the lines dance around and the results were.........I gained nearly a pound. Huh?? What? I'm sorry what did you say? It's so frustrating and disheartening. I know there are many reasons for the fluctuation and I have no doubt it will be gone in a heartbeat but....I didn't lose anything. Seriously, why am I working so hard at this for that. Sigh......here's hoping tomorrow is better, I can't handle the ups and downs of this game.